Monkey Trouble

Monkeying can be both good and bad.

In fact, it can be pretty bad, as is obvious from my previous post about the Goons in Saffron. Watching the news made my bile rise, and I tried to divert my thoughts to monkeying of a different kind. Mistake me not dear reader, I am just referring to the fantastical acrobatics of our Darwinian ancestors, the real and honourable monkey. Honest to word, I felt much better and would now like to relate to you the same.

The apartment where I live is next to the sprawling campus of the Central Silk Board. Apart from the hundreds of worker, the campus is also home to a group of monkeys who take refuge in its greenery in a city that is today defined by its traffic snarls and concrete jungle.

Last year, in July, the monkeys made a surprise visit to our apartment, and had ravaged my potted plants kept out in the balcony. Understandably, I was shocked and appalled to see the destruction, and in the following months took great paints to nurse my plants back to health. Luckily for me, the monkeys didn't appear again, or so I thought.

A week ago I was sipping my morning mug of tea, checking emails in my study. Vijay was likewise working on his laptop. In all appearances it was supposed to be a usual run-of-the-mill weekday morning.

Having finished my tea I picked my mug and walked towards the kitchen. But Instead of proceeding I stopped dead in my tracks.

As if in slow motion my mind detected a trail of fruits on the dining room floor. First was a huge papaya, partially eaten, then was a pulpy, red stuff, which I decided not to ponder over. Then there was an onion, again half eaten and some more unrecognizable mashed stuff. As my unblinking eyes traced the trail to the top of the dining table, I saw a bunch of grapes lying outside the bowl and... (this is the worst part)... a large pool of a liquid that looked like water.

My sudden halt alarmed Vijay who was on the phone. He hastened to cut the call and hurried to my side. And predictably, even he was dumb-founded! What could have happened? Who could have come in? Why is the house in such a state?

After what seemed like an eon, my mind jolted into action and noticed the bite marks on the papaya. Large jaw, almost human, but not as big. Next I noticed the red, pulpy stuff... hmmmm... tomato. What about the onion? The bite marks on it corresponded with those on the papaya, and I silently congratulated myself. Ah! I had missed noticing something earlier - a bunch of bananas was missing! I moved to the table and inspected the spilled water. Where did it come from? Did a bottle fall off? Hmmm.... no... As I watched, the water trickled to the side of the table and started dripping on the floor. I wondered as I watched and made a deduction.

It was a monkey, a young monkey, alone, away from its group, that visited our balcony. The door was open, from where it detected the green grapes in the bowl. As it scampered across the living room to the dining table, it saw the yellow papaya under the shelf. Excited at the prospect of so much food it scampered to the shelf and took bite from the papaya. From that point it could look inside the kitchen, where onions are kept in a basket along with potatoes. The sight of the shiny maroonish onions lured the monkey inside the kitchen.

(I can almost visualize a kid in a candy store!!!)

The monkey retraced its path, carrying a bunch of bananas that were kept next to the papaya, back to the dining table. There it dug into the packet of vegetables I had bought the previous evening and ate up a juicy tomato. Then, in the exhilaration of finding his new land of plenty, he decided to mark it as his territory. And yes, he marked it in ways more physical than psychological, the way most animals do - by urinating (uggghhhh!)... on my dining table!!!!!!!

(I have no words or expressions to demonstrate my indignation at this point!)

While the simian adventurer was thus marking his new territory, it heard footsteps of a homo-sapien (poor me). His survival instincts kicked in and he was gone before I even reached the crime scene.

I must say that Vijay was baffled, intrigued and disgusted by the whole episode. But he also admired my Sherlock Homes-kind-of-deductive-capacity. After a gallant offer of cleaning up the place, he relinquished that job to me and proceeded to throw all the food that had been touched by the surprise visitor into the garbage bin.

Wow.... though my simian guest was unwelcome and unexpected, I didn't feel angry. In fact, I thought it was really funny! And I think that things like these should happen once in a while to jolt us out of our 'routine' lives! Personally, I think it was nice, sweet monkey, in the teenage phase, hungry and trying to establish its domain. I'm just glad it didn't get interested in my purse, or Vijay's ID card which were also kept on the table...

I'm glad that this world still has real monkeys - creatures that stay true to their nature, don't have perverted thoughts, live and let live. Mutalik and his goons can take some lessons here, eh?