I don't find that funny
A chance conversation with my mother yesterday brought up an interesting, and potentially important, issue. I had asked her if she enjoyed watching 'Three Idiots', and was surprised by her negative critique. Amongst other points, to which I don't agree to, she complained about the thoughtless usage of the word 'balatkar' which is the Hindi word for 'rape'.
I am a 21st century woman living in one of the most cosmopolitan cities of India. I am a liberal and broad minded non-feminist, and can digest a good joke, even when it's on me. Though I don't agree with my mother often, in this case I have to admit that she is correct.
My mother said that 'balatkar' is one of the few words, that cannot be used in just any context. It carries a lot of weight and many serious connotations. 'Balatkar' - The word generally elicits deep emotions such as shock and pain. The word conveys the alleged victim's misfortune, the sense of being violated and the possibility of being ridiculed and alienated by the society. It also conveys the seriousness of the crime and forces people to consider it with the force of their conscience. In such a case, spinning a joke around the word somehow trivializes the impact of the word and the meaning that it conveys.
Let me clarify myself. I thoroughly enjoyed watching 'Three Idiots', including the portion in question. Or so I kept telling myself. After my conversation with my mother, during which we argued inconclusively, I looked back and traced my reactions during the movie. And yes, I had to admit, I had felt a twinge of discomfort while the portion in question was being screened. I don't know why, but I guess I am not ready to joke with the word 'balatkar' as yet... I don't have the stomach for it. Also, since I am a woman, I feel the ramification of this word a bit too strongly. In all, the word was like a thorn that pricked uncomfortably, and which unconsciously I decided to overlook, since the rest of the movie was fantastic.
And looks like I am not alone. I watched the movie at PVR, one of the best halls in the city. Fortunately, the crowd there is elite and well-behaved. My mother, who lives in Dehradun, watched it in the best hall that's available there, a run of the mill movie theatre. She described the crowd consisting of youngsters, mainly students, with boys and girls in equal strength. During the scene in question, the boys jeered and cheered uproariously, while the girls smiled and shifted uncomfortably. I am sure if movie-makers were to poll youngsters on their choice of humour, they'll find that girls don't find jokes about rapes and molestations as funny as their male counterparts.
I am not clubbing all men together. I am sure there are many sensitive souls out there. But let's face the truth. Movie makers have been including titillating rape and molestation sequesnces in movies all through the ages because the audience likes it and the hero gets to justify his existence.
I remember that as a kid I used to be horrified of the mention of the words 'rape' or 'balatkar'. Somehow down the years I have made myself immune to their impact, frankly because my psyche cannot bear the emotional impact of even hearing about such incidents. A few years ago when I watched the supposed 'rape' scene in the laugh-riot Golmaal, I felt distictly uncomfortable. But I told myself that this is supposed to be funny! Take it easy! Laugh! All through the years this is what I have told myself time and again. As a result, tomorrow if I watch such a movie again, I might not even blink.
But the question is, is this good entertainment? Should I have to condition myself in order to enjoy 'popular' humour? If I don't find something naturally funny, is there something wrong with me?
I don't just speak for myself. I am sure there are many women out there who feel uncomfortable at the trivialization of such words. Aamir Khan surely has studied the psyche of children and young adults. I really admire him and am his fan. But I wonder how much really he understands the psyche of women...
I really wish movie makers in the future utilize intelligent humour. Resorting to such simplistic tricks to tickle the rib somehow looks cheap...
I am a 21st century woman living in one of the most cosmopolitan cities of India. I am a liberal and broad minded non-feminist, and can digest a good joke, even when it's on me. Though I don't agree with my mother often, in this case I have to admit that she is correct.
My mother said that 'balatkar' is one of the few words, that cannot be used in just any context. It carries a lot of weight and many serious connotations. 'Balatkar' - The word generally elicits deep emotions such as shock and pain. The word conveys the alleged victim's misfortune, the sense of being violated and the possibility of being ridiculed and alienated by the society. It also conveys the seriousness of the crime and forces people to consider it with the force of their conscience. In such a case, spinning a joke around the word somehow trivializes the impact of the word and the meaning that it conveys.
Let me clarify myself. I thoroughly enjoyed watching 'Three Idiots', including the portion in question. Or so I kept telling myself. After my conversation with my mother, during which we argued inconclusively, I looked back and traced my reactions during the movie. And yes, I had to admit, I had felt a twinge of discomfort while the portion in question was being screened. I don't know why, but I guess I am not ready to joke with the word 'balatkar' as yet... I don't have the stomach for it. Also, since I am a woman, I feel the ramification of this word a bit too strongly. In all, the word was like a thorn that pricked uncomfortably, and which unconsciously I decided to overlook, since the rest of the movie was fantastic.
And looks like I am not alone. I watched the movie at PVR, one of the best halls in the city. Fortunately, the crowd there is elite and well-behaved. My mother, who lives in Dehradun, watched it in the best hall that's available there, a run of the mill movie theatre. She described the crowd consisting of youngsters, mainly students, with boys and girls in equal strength. During the scene in question, the boys jeered and cheered uproariously, while the girls smiled and shifted uncomfortably. I am sure if movie-makers were to poll youngsters on their choice of humour, they'll find that girls don't find jokes about rapes and molestations as funny as their male counterparts.
I am not clubbing all men together. I am sure there are many sensitive souls out there. But let's face the truth. Movie makers have been including titillating rape and molestation sequesnces in movies all through the ages because the audience likes it and the hero gets to justify his existence.
I remember that as a kid I used to be horrified of the mention of the words 'rape' or 'balatkar'. Somehow down the years I have made myself immune to their impact, frankly because my psyche cannot bear the emotional impact of even hearing about such incidents. A few years ago when I watched the supposed 'rape' scene in the laugh-riot Golmaal, I felt distictly uncomfortable. But I told myself that this is supposed to be funny! Take it easy! Laugh! All through the years this is what I have told myself time and again. As a result, tomorrow if I watch such a movie again, I might not even blink.
But the question is, is this good entertainment? Should I have to condition myself in order to enjoy 'popular' humour? If I don't find something naturally funny, is there something wrong with me?
I don't just speak for myself. I am sure there are many women out there who feel uncomfortable at the trivialization of such words. Aamir Khan surely has studied the psyche of children and young adults. I really admire him and am his fan. But I wonder how much really he understands the psyche of women...
I really wish movie makers in the future utilize intelligent humour. Resorting to such simplistic tricks to tickle the rib somehow looks cheap...
I guess I can relate to how you must have felt as a kid cause I still get the creeps. Guess some people are incapable of making themselves immune to these horrors of life. And this is probably the main reason I had stopped reading newspapers a long time back. I don't want to read stories which evokes cheap thrills in others. Probably you would understand what I mean by reading this http://bit.ly/9OY4V8 and this http://bit.ly/bJp2fY
ReplyDeletehey anu i agree with ur views... even i wasn't too comfortable while watching the scene...
ReplyDeleteand the aberration is tht even in tamil it is called the same... so there is no way tht guy cud have been tricked into saying it without knowing its meaning...
sometimes, films go overboard on humour..while most of them say, come on it is a joke, I think they shud understand humour is not mindlessly laughin over something insensitive...i think humour concerning disabilities should be avoided,too ...
nice write-up, dear...
Raj - I checked your links and was heartened by your words. Keep up the good job.
ReplyDeleteJanani - Yes, dear. Our films go overboard just too frequently. Wit is hard to find but slapstick comedy abounds... Glad that you liked the post :)
Thats seriously thought provoking..i never took that scene in that light. and yaa despite studying from one of the elite colleges in the cuntry, I feel this scene would have evoked a same response if it was enacted in real as well. But i stll feel that it has got to do something with ur alienaton of some hindi words which have lost their significance and evoke a laugh. if the same wd was Rape, i would have nt njoyed it probably nd wud hav felt a bit offensive, but the way i treat Balatkar is because some hindi words have started to sound funny, irrespective of the context they carry.
ReplyDelete...and I thought I reacted like that because I was old school! Glad to see that some emotions transcend time and age. Glad you picked up the issue.I couldnt agree with you more
ReplyDeleteI am wondering whether we have any kind of rating for Indian movies...like in hollywood..PG, M, MA etc....coz I have not seen any ..definatley think it was not the right thing for anyone under 15 ...
ReplyDeleteHmmm interesting ...i must say ...dont really know what to say..i feel the same about sardar jokes ...maybe ...need to check with Freud ...pheww u maywell be hitting on the mother of al l themes...whats aesthetic and whats bawdy ...
ReplyDeleteIt is discomfiting not just for those outside the 'sphere of Indian languages'. I am not trying to create some India vs Bharat divide but many 'in India' do have lost some sense of context and subtext of many words, mostly from Hindi, the de-facto lingua of youth, that have come to be used so casually...and carelessly...And Bollywood isn't definitely Hindi movies in that sense (never has been, afterall now the audience that it caters to now arches across continents. The unwitting downside of this is industry/directors have been using Hindi (Mumbaiyya Hindi) more for its utility to 'make' a 'Hindi' film than any idea to create a language that could be popular as film langauge. Hindiwallas, the language has become victim of its expansion into uncharted geographies and momentum cannot be reversed. And the balatkar word was used rather carelessly for what is plainly the purpose of creating a shock value. But we have tortured English in similar fashion and it has been a long time since Oxbridge dons have lamented on the 'mutilation' of English.
ReplyDeleteIt so happened that I was trying to read negative reviews about this scene and that's how I stumbled across this blog recommended to me by someone. You know it is a small world... I am your mother's ex-student. Mrs. Jha taught me Maths and environmental science and She has been one of my most favorite teachers. As I went through your writeup, I could not help but miss Ma'am (your mum) so much! It was really interesting to read her point of view. Convey my regards to her and keep up your writing - you are doing a great job!
ReplyDeleteRemember a similar scene in one of Aamir's earlier movies (Dil, i think) where he castigates Madhuri on using the word so carelessly...hats off to your mother to have the composure and wisdom to go against the tide and point out the flaws in a successful film!
ReplyDelete